#MSDStrong: one thing I know,
one thing I don’t know

From the difficult days that ensued February 14, one thing I know is how God was in his church. Our church is 6 miles from the school.  I saw God in a way I had never seen God before–because I had never been through something like this before. I saw God in Pastor David and Lisa, who found themselves abruptly leaving a conference in another state, only to land and immediately start meeting with victims’ families, making hospital visits, attend vigils, funerals and viewings, rally our teams to do whatever it takes; all the while, David crafting personalized, poignant funeral messages for each funeral.  I saw God in volunteers, who took off work, missed class, rescheduled vacations so they could serve. And not just serve in “sexy” ways like host state governors and handle media, but in unnoticed ways like make sure there were enough Kleenex boxes at the seats of every victims’ family. I saw God in my kids who reached out to their best bud (an MSD freshman), having him over the day after, to give him a refuge. I saw God in our church-attendees, who attended the funerals not because they knew the victims, but to support their families – even if they sat, unnoticed, in the most remote seat. I saw God in the worship – how do you worship at a time like this? Let God lay the music on your heart, voice and instrument…then do it.  I saw God in unprecedented hugs and tears and touches. Three things our society (and me) have moved away from in this cyber-virtual-technological era.  You can’t “text” real hugs, tears or touches. You have them in you, and when God needs you to show up with them and give them, you do.  I learned that when there are no intangibles like words, there are still tangibles like tears, hugs and touches.  When Jesus got word that his friend had died, I don’t think he wept because he died (Jesus knew he was about to do a miracle). I think he cried becaue his friends were sad, and his compassion meant joining them in their tears.  One thing I know is God was in his Church, using his imperfect people.  There’s also one thing I don’t know. Why did this bad man do this?  I think alot. Arguably, too much. I’ve tried to get in his head and fill in the blank, “why,” but it’s only rendered empty space in its’ fill-in. In Pastor David’s Easter message, he said, “You can have faith and still have doubts.” I’m finding a lot of comfort in that. It actually gave me a temporary place to park “why” in my head until I get to Heaven and can have God’s ear. In closing, I want to say that if you’re still hurting, we’re still praying. Let us know if you need specific prayer….or…a hug. #msdstrong

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