“I Don’t Love You, I Want Out.”

One of the consequences of my 2000 suicide attempt/psych ward was the crash of our marriage that ensued. “I’ll sleep somewhere else,” “I don’t love you,” “I want out,”…harsh words for a bride to tell her husband of only 17 months. We were blind sighted by the enemy’s attack on our marriage.  Like a hurricane, there were signs and conditions that my mental state was on the fritz; but like a tsunami, we never saw a marriage-crash coming. No doubt, what the enemy wanted as a counterattack was for us to divorce.  But God stepped in, and fought with us and for us.  Sure, we can thank the enemy for shattering our marriage into a million pieces.  But today we get to thank God for putting it back together.  This Monday will mark 18 years of marriage. Though I struggle with indebtedness to Raul, he’s quick to remind me that with true love, there are no debts (1 Corinthians 13). Together, as a couple God rescued, we rally for couples waiting to be.  We cry tears of empathy when we see couples struggling and laugh tears of joy when we see God step in.  True to His Word, God doesn’t waste our experiences (Romans 8:28).  Sometimes, Raul and I get to pray for, listen to or comfort others struggling in their marriages–and the outcome is twofold: one, we get to serve God by helping others, and two, we get to see the hand of God when He steps in. I hope this encourages someone today.

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